Root (Band Nerd Book 2) Read online

  Hell, I hate myself for the lies I told her in that truck. The aftertaste still lingers like a bitter pill on my tongue, the words right there waiting for me to retract them. All I’ve ever wanted to do is protect and cherish Lena. That’s it. Yet by being in her life I’ve put her in harm’s way, because Nathan wants something from me.

  The door closing behind us is like a death knell. She’d just dropped everything to come after me, her purse and backpack in the middle of the floor, discarded as though they didn’t matter. The same way I’d tried to make her feel.

  Fuck, I’m gonna be sick. Instead, I focus on her as she moves around me to sit at the table, in the exact same spot where Nathan had sat. Bile crawls up my throat. I force myself to look away and I know one way to occupy myself, get myself under control.

  I grab the duct tape out of her junk drawer and approach the bed. It’s easy to see where he drilled the hole for the camera now that I know it’s there. I tear three strips off the roll and cover it before stepping off of her bed.

  “What are you doing?” she asks, her voice timid as she watches me stalk around the apartment, looking for more.

  I know there has to be more and the more I look, the more I find. Two in the walls that look out onto the bed, another in the corner above the dining room table, and a final one in the motherfucking bathroom. The nausea fades as fury takes over.

  “Anders,” Lena says as I stop in her kitchen, the roll of duct tape a lot thinner than it was before. “What are you doing? What’s going on?”

  I can’t look at her, so I just start talking. “Nathan was here when I came in this afternoon.”

  “What? Why? Was it about this month’s rent?”

  Swiping my hand over my mouth, I sigh and finally look up at her. “Okay, I don’t think telling’s going to work,” I mutter, my guts twisting with sheer terror.

  I cross the tiny apartment and crouch in front of the television and DVD player. My hands shake as I put the hated disc in the machine, taking a step back as though it’d bite me. Already I feel hatred of Nathan beating against my chest. If he hadn’t made copies… If he hadn’t set things up so that those clips would be released in the event something happened to him, I’d have killed him today. Simple as that.

  I take several steps away from the television, stopping only when my back hits the wall next to the bathroom, sliding down it to sit on the floor, as though distance would help. My spot also gives me a front-row seat to my girl’s expressions when the video begins to play.

  At first, her forehead furrows with confusion. Then clarity. Understanding. I can’t take my eyes off of her, off of the heartbreaking change as she watches one of our most intimate moments played out like porno. Her eyes widen and I swear her skin goes gray, as though all the blood has left her, as though she’s dead. I know the feeling, but it kills me all over again because this time it’s my girl.

  I don’t look away from her. I can’t. I watch the torment as tears glisten in her eyes, watch them spill down her cheeks in silvery streams. I watch as her hand, shaking so badly I know she’s going into shock, covers her mouth. Then her gaze goes from the screen to me, those goddamn tears streaming down her face.

  “Turn it off,” she whispers. “Turn it off!” The next is a scream and I crawl across the room to end her suffering, hitting the power button. The screen goes dark, but I see her reflection in it, the way her arms go around her stomach. “He…” A sob wrenches from her, another knife right through my heart.

  Even knowing she has to hate me for bringing this into her life, I can’t stop myself from reaching for her, dragging her out of her chair until I have her trembling body in my lap, my lips pressed to her temple. That first sob was only the first of many, her tears soaking the collar of my shirt, her pain my pain. And fuck if a few don’t trail down my face as well. For her. For my beautiful girl.

  “Why?” she suddenly screams, her hands clenching my shirt, her fingernails scratching my skin. “Why would he do that?”

  And I have to tell her the truth. “Because of me.”

  She shakes her head, blonde hair spilling out of her ponytail. “I don’t understand. What does this have to do with you?”

  I lean my head against her shoulder, taking comfort in her I don’t deserve, not wanting to watch her as I explain Nathan’s plan. I don’t want to see hatred growing in those velvet eyes. I’m pretty sure that really would kill me.

  “We’re playing Bryant State this weekend,” I say through numb lips. My throat works to get the words out. “Odds are twenty to one we’ll win.” Lena goes still in my lap. I don’t think she’s even breathing, no doubt well aware of where this is going. “Nathan’s betting against Sauvage. I’m one of the best linemen on the offense. All I have to do is miss a few important tackles, let Beau get sacked a few times, help us lose the game, and the videos go away.”

  “And if you don’t?” she asks, her voice so small, so beaten, I want to lash out. Not at her, but it’s tempting to go after Nathan anyway.

  “If I don’t, or if I go to the police, or attempt to harm Nathan, everything he’s recorded goes straight to an amateur porn site and the link will be sent to all university email addresses, with our names included.”

  She scrambles off my lap, darting across the apartment to the bathroom. I’m a little slower to move, but by the time I get in there, she’s curled over the toilet, heaving and sobbing. Dropping to my knees behind her, I wrap my arms around her waist, sheltering her, offering my support without having a fucking clue how we were going to get out of this mess.

  God. I thought it hurt when Nathan gave me his ultimatum. I thought that was a pain I’d never recover from, but that has nothing on watching Lena realize we’re trapped. Do I plan to give him exactly what he wants? Without hesitation, but I know it’s not going to end there. If I have to choose between my honor and Lena, she’ll win every time, but men like Nathan can’t stop at one threat. As soon as he’s in another bind, another clip will appear, another promise that this is the last time, and we’ll be right back where we started.

  So yeah, we’re fucked. There is no getting out of this.

  “What are we going to do?” she whispers when she finally seems to get herself under control.

  My answer, when it comes, is quiet and filled with despair. “I don’t know.”

  Lena

  Anders holds me, but I’m completely numb. How can one person be so selfish, so full of greed and hate, he’d do something like this to us? Nathan’s ruined everything good in my life from the moment he entered it and he’s never going to stop. If there was ever any lingering hope that my relationship with my stepfather could grow, it’s gone now. Wiped away completely. And Mom? She probably has no idea he’s doing this. And she probably doesn’t care either, so lost in her booze and pills, she can’t see the poison she’s brought into our lives.

  Poison that’ll kill my relationship with Anders. By giving in to Nathan’s demands, the beauty that shines from Anders will start to tarnish and darken. What we have—had, was pure and good. But the minute Anders agrees to throw that game, and any game in the future, affection will turn to bitterness and bitterness to hate. I can’t let him do that. I won’t let him do that. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and if he takes that fall, it’ll be as much my fault as it will be Nathan’s.

  I must’ve said that last part out loud because Anders turns me to look at him. “It isn’t your fault,” he says, giving me a little shake. “None of this is your fault.”

  “It isn’t your fault either,” I tell him. He looks like he’s about to argue, but I stop him with a single touch of his cheek. “This falls squarely on Nathan’s shoulders.”

  He shudders, pulling me even closer until our foreheads touch. “I love you, Lena,” he says hoarsely. “I’m going to do it.”

  It’s the first time he’s ever said he loved me and part of my broken heart mends, although it’s still heavy. I’m not sure love is going to help us.
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  I shake my head. “I love you, too and you’re not. We just have to figure out a way to stop him, that’s all.” Listen to me sounding all optimistic and crap.

  “You realize it won’t be that easy,” he says, raining on my little parade. “He has a hacker or someone like that working with him and if anything happens to him, they’ll hit send. Which means there’s no fucking way he has that video just laying around somewhere. It isn’t like we can just ransack his house to find it and erase it. He’s a greedy fuck, but he isn’t stupid.” His arms tighten around me hard enough I find it a little hard to breathe. “I’ll do it.” I go to protest, but he shakes his head. “If it’s the choice between you and football, you win. You get me? I don’t give a fuck about it if it puts you in harm’s way. I love you.”

  I cry, my arms tight around his neck. “I love you too,” I sob. “I’m so sorry. So sorry!”

  He kisses me, my tears coating both of our lips and it’s a reaffirmation of our words. Sacred. I’m not sure how we’re going to get out of this mess, if we’ll even emerge intact, but if I have Anders at my side when it’s all over, it’ll have been worth it.

  When he pulls away, his hands come up to cup my face, thumbs wiping away my tears. “We’ll figure something out,” he says hoarsely. “Swear to god, I won’t let that video be released.”

  I shake my head. “You can’t throw the game. That isn’t who you are.”

  His nostrils flare, and for a moment I think he’s going to argue with me, but he nods. Slowly, reluctantly, he agrees. “We’ll find another way,” he promises. “It might mean telling a few people what’s going on— Not showing them the video,” he assures me quickly, probably reading the panic on my face. “I wouldn’t do that. But we can’t go this alone.”

  I don’t like it. In fact, the thought of telling anyone about this makes my stomach twist with nerves, but he’s right. We can’t do this on our own. In fact, I’m not even sure we can bring this to a satisfactory end even with help, but it’s better than twiddling our thumbs, hoping for the best. Or for Anders to compromise his integrity.

  “Okay,” I whisper.

  Anders rests his forehead against mine, our noses touching. “We’ll stop this, baby. One of way or another, we’ll stop Nathan.”

  “I believe you.”

  And I do. I have to believe that love will prevail. Any other outcome isn’t acceptable. Not when I’ve just handed my heart and soul over to him.

  “What now?” I ask after we’re both silent for several moments, thinking about what we’re facing.

  He presses a quick, hard kiss to my mouth before releasing me to stand. Holding his hand out to me, Anders helps me to my feet, wrapping his arms around me as though he can’t bear to let me go. I understand because there’s comfort in just having him with me.

  “Now we get your shit packed,” he says into my hair. “You’re not staying here another minute. Then I have to make some phone calls.”

  “Okay.”

  Anders

  There are two calls I need to make. Only two people I can think of who might be able to help us. One of whom I’d promised myself I’d never ask a favor from. It’s fucked up ten ways to hell, but my girl comes before everything and I mean everything.

  Like my pride.

  “Where am I supposed to go?” Lena asks as she packs a bag. “I can’t stay with you or Jolene because y’all are in the dorms. And Nessie and Becca live at home. There’s no room.”

  But she continues to pack, both of us glancing around the room a little uneasily. I don’t think either one of us will ever be comfortable here again.

  “I guess I could get a hotel room,” she mutters under her breath as she reaches into her nightstand where she keeps her toys and the condoms.

  Just seeing her hands on the items I know are about pleasure has my dick hardening, ready for action. I shake my head. I’m not touching her again until we’re out of this apartment. And she’s right. While I’d love for her to share my room in the dorms, there’s a limit to how long she can stay. There’s also no way I’ll let her go anywhere else without me, so I swallow my pride and make the first call.

  “Rooooot,” comes over the line when the call connects.

  “Savage,” I cut in solemnly. “I need to ask a favor.”

  He goes silent, his jovial attitude immediately replaced by a seriousness I’m glad to hear. “Anything, man.”

  I clear my throat, the strange tightness in it letting go. “Lena needs a place to stay for a while, just—”

  “Done. Do y’all need me to help move her?”

  Fuck. Savage might have the whole privileged lifestyle thing going on, is screwed up in his own way, but deep down, he’s gold.

  “It’s just until—”

  He cuts in again. “However the fuck long it needs to be, man.” I hear the sound of a door closing. “I’m leaving my place now. She need boxes or something? I can pick some up on my way over there.”

  “Yeah,” I say hoarsely, profoundly glad he has my back no matter what. That’s when I know I couldn’t go through with throwing the game. I can’t. “I’ll be staying too. We need to talk.” Once I figure out how much to tell him.

  “You got it, man,” he says as he starts his truck. “I’ll be there in about thirty minutes.”

  He hangs up without waiting to hear my thanks, or anything. Just like that, he’s giving me a way to get my girl out of harm’s way. Which only leaves my other call. My fingers tighten on my phone. Before I can chicken out, I fire off the text I swore I never would, and I put the cell down before I break it.

  “Savage’s coming over with some boxes,” I inform Lena as she stands next to her bed looking lost. “We’re moving you out of here completely.”

  The slow blink of her eyes makes me smile despite the grimness of the situation. “Where am I going?”

  Striding to her, I slip my arms around her waist, pulling her in to me. Just like that, she melts, molding her body to mine. “Savage’s family has several guest cottages we can stay in until we can find an apartment, or we can use his guestroom if you don’t mind staying with him.” She stiffens, her head lifting off my chest, but I squeeze her tight. “Just for a few weeks,” I soothe. “I already have my name down on a couple of apartment waiting lists, but those won’t be available until the end of the semester and I wanted to make sure you liked them before we decided anything.”

  “What?” she whispers. “Apartments?”

  I clear my throat. “Yeah, I uh, I was gonna wait a while to ask, but I’ve been wanting to get you out of here and, since break registration is coming up soon for on-campus housing, I figure it’d be a good time to let it lapse.” My fingers dig into her hips just a little. This wasn’t how I wanted to spring my plans on her. “My scholarships don’t require me to live on campus and I have a job hook-up through Coach Steady. It isn’t much, but that plus my cost-of-living expenses, I can pay for half the rent and—”

  Obviously my girl likes the idea because her fingers are in my hair, tugging my face down so she can kiss me. And boy does she. Her lips are sweet, hot, and drugging. I cup her ass in my hands, aligning our bodies together, letting her take the lead on the kiss and man, am I so fucking glad I do. I can’t help but groan, my dick hard and eager to take this to the next level. Except…

  It’s as though she feels the same hesitation, and ends the kiss, her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling. “Yes,” she whispers. “A thousand times, yes.”

  “Fuck, Lena,” I growl, ready to kiss her again despite the possibility that I missed a couple of Nathan’s fucking cameras, but the shrill ring of my cell interrupts. And just like that, my lust is extinguished. Still, I press a hard kiss to my girl’s mouth. “We’ll continue this later. Start putting your stuff together while I get this call and I’ll help.”

  It’s a relief to see the happiness on her face as opposed to the hurt and confusion from earlier. Yeah, knowing I gave that to her on the heels of the other shit? I
may have felt like a fucking superhero as I let go of her, my hands lingering on her curves, and stride to pick up my phone again.

  But that feeling of invincibility fades as soon as I see the number. I take a deep breath to steady my nerves.

  “Rien,” I say shortly.

  “Talk,” comes the growled voice of my big brother.

  Aware that Lena stopped packing to look at me with wide eyes, I remember why I called him. “I need your help, storebror,” I whisper roughly. The Norwegian phrase for big brother tumbles from my lips as easily as if we haven’t been apart for the last four years.

  “Tell me,” he grunts.

  Lena wanders over, her arms circling me from behind as she rests her head on my back, giving me her support as I tell my brother everything. She understands how hard this is for me because I’d told her about my relationship with Rien and how much I looked up to him. My brother, for all his faults, was the one to tell me to leave Wisconsin and never look back, but added that if I ever needed anything, to let him know.

  He’s not the best person in the world, did time for shit he definitely did, and did it without remorse, but he’s all the family I have. And he’s the only one I know of who could possibly see a way out of this clusterfuck.

  Rien’s quiet after I tell him the bare bones of our problem, but I hear the distant sounds of laughter, music, and billiard balls. He’s probably at the clubhouse. My heart pounds. This is the last thing I’d ever wanted. I’d had every intention of keeping Lena away from that part of my life, but Nathan forced my hand. And while I’m not sorry the slimey bastard will pay dearly for threatening us, opening this door with Rien means letting the skeletons out of my closet.

  “I’ll be there soon as I can,” Rien says, voice rough and harsh. “In the meantime, I’m gonna contact a few people down that way who can help make this go away.”

  A knock sounds on the door, Savage most likely and Lena lets go of me to answer it. I clear my throat. “Thank—”